May 5: The Ways We Grow

When I look back at old entries, I’m there again and it is all so real. I remember talking to my therapist. I remember sitting on a bench calling 911. But I also look back through these entries and I see how creative I was and I am. I should really get into creative writing and maybe even art. I feel better today. No one is disappointed in me. I did my job. I hope writing in this journal is good for me. When I picked this up, I was reading entries from the beginning of the school year and they were a bit sad. I feel this way sometimes. And that’s okay.

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Something I drew when I was 15. There’s someone sitting on a star blowing bubbles like a badass.

Love makes my whole body warm. Like I am home. Earlier, I was looking around at work and felt overwhelmed by love.

Well, it’s the beginning of the end. I won’t be a part of a particular summer program for the first time since 2015. The years pass so quickly! But the end of this internship does not mean the end and it will always be my home. I’m getting nostalgic.

If I knew that someone was struggling, I would listen to them. I would tell them it makes sense how they feel. And that even through it all, they are the same person they always were and I am there for them every step of the way. In the close-out of my job, my mentor said many of us have faced crisis in some shape or form this semester and we kept the place going on top of it. There is so much struggle we don’t know about. I wonder what my colleagues are struggling with and what I can do to let them know that they are not alone.

All that any of us want is to be heard and to not be alone and to feel like we’re still valuable human beings.

I’m excited for Ramadan. I want to take prayer and fasting very seriously. I know I can do it. I’m ready to heal.

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